its really easy to fall back into old habits when no one is holding you accountable for your actions
i really need to give myself more credit/ acknowledge the fact that i am a survivor of physical/emotional/sexual abuse and stop trying to pretend like my experiences “weren’t as bad as what other people go through”
it was this day last year that i swallowed an entire bottle of celexa
happy im not dead anniversary to me.
sometimes its still really hard not to self harm even though its been like 4 years
i go to work i come home i cry sometimes i see people and pretend i am kind of happy but then i go home and cry again because im stupid
i wish there was someone i could talk to about how much i want to die
im just so fucking sad and i dont know what to do any more
you think i dont realize that im not special to you but i do
i feel really sad but i think its just because i did like 3 grams of mdma this weekend and i never do drugs and i want to pour acid on my face and sleep and cry forever.
